Why Did The Haggis Cross the Road?

and other Scottish Jokes

One thing that's know is that the Haggis did cross the road.

But why did he do it!

Read the book now to find out.

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Why Did The Haggis Cross the Road? - Extracts

 

Tartan & Kilt Jokes

A Japanese businessman goes into a kilt-makers to enquire about having kilts made for his entire family. Realising that there’s a massive profit to be made the kilt-maker is keen to get the sale.
“The only problem,” says the business man, “is that I don’t expect we belong to any Scottish Clan.”
“Actually you do,” says the kilt-maker without hesitation, “Tokushimanachahati is part of the MacGullible Clan – we have plenty of tartan in stock.”

For his eighteenth birthday a rich aunt gives Paul a bale of tartan and money to have a kilt made. He goes to a kilt maker and gets measured up. As he’s a bit shy he asks the kilt maker to make some matching undies. Two weeks later Paul goes back to the shop.
"Your kilt and underwear are ready,” says the kilt maker. “and there was five yards of material left over.”
“That’s grand,” replies Paul, “Maybe I could get my girlfriend a matching kilt.”
Paul rushed home. Excitedly he pulls on the kilt. He loves it so much he immediately dashes round to show his girlfriend. Unfortunately, in his excitement, he forgot to don his underwear.
When his girlfriend answers the door, Paul does a twirl and said, "Well, what do you think?"
"Wow," she exclaims.
"But here’s the biggest surprise,” he screeches, yanking up the kilt, “have you ever seen anything like that?”
"Oh, my God," says his girlfriend, “that’s amazing.”
"Well I've got five more yards at home,” says Paul eagerly. “I’d be happy to let you have it anytime"